More Facebook Suckage

Posted By kage / 6th May 2010

Recently Facebook has come under fire, and rightly so, for sucking in a major way.  They’ve changed pretty much everything so that now everytime you visit Facebook, you owe them $321.93, a monthly diet coke stock and naked pictures of your wife.

Kidding.  No naked pictures.  Unless you really want to get in good with them.

On top of all the mass suckage comes news today that they’ve screwed up again and started secretly adding apps to your profile.  No biggie you say.

Think again Einstein.

Now according to an article on PC World, when you visit certain sites, apps get installed to your profile.  You don’t have to have a Facebook window open, be logged in, think about Facebook or really even have a Facebook account.  This is such suckage that if you don’t have a Facebook account, and you visit these sites, if you ever do get a Facebook account, this stuff will automatically be added to your profile, emails will be sent from your account stressing your love forDonny Osmond (not Marie) and that you like to wear womens clothing.  Which really isn’t so bad, but TO CHURCH.

You can’t get away from this stuff either.  You can delete the apps but next time you visit the site, BANG.  Instant appification of your profile.  Don’t like it?  Okay, go ahead and delete it.  It’s gone.  Right?  No.  Not really.  Facebook just likes to punk you, flip you off and dare you to do something about it all while calling you a pussy.

What can you do?  Nothing really.  Like one of the George Bushes said about rape, if it’s inevitable you might as well sit back and enjoy it.  Tell Facebook what a stud you think it is, how manly and big it is and how it really, really satifisfies you.  Then if you feel like it, you can kick it in the balls.  Won’t do much but hey, you’ll probably feel better.

Facebook contacted PC World and said, basically, “our bad dude.  Like we’re really, really totally sorry.  Total bummer dude.”  They’ve made it so that it won’t happen again.  ”Dude, like we’ve totally made it so like it won’t happen again and shit.  Really sorry yo.”

You’ll still have to manually remove any crap that’s there.  I’m sure, totally sure that Facebook, really, really didn’t count on that.  Really.  They said so.

Hipster? Me? Surely you jest….

Posted By kage / 6th May 2010

10 Signs You’re A Hipster

Perhaps I have a bit of the dreaded hipsterism.  Let’s explore shan’t we?

1.  Okay maybe I’m not.  The first sign is that you paid top dollar to see Conan.  I did try (unsuccessfully) to score some free tickets from a source but failed rather miserably. So there’s that.
2.  Guilty here. Kind of.  Apple sticker on my Prius?  No.  I have a Volkswagen.  It does have an Apple sticker though.
3.  Another point in my favor.  The article says that if you militantly recycle, you’re a hipster.  I recycle beer bottles and plastic stuff.  But not in a militant way. So…I’m good there.
4.   Huge points in my favor  here.  #3 in the article is something to do with loving Wilco and Radiohead.  I can’t stand Wilco and I can tolerate Radiohead.  So yeah, I’m doing pretty good here.
5.  um…toss up here.  #5 on the original list is that you can’t enjoy anything at face value, then goes on to mention Jack Kerouac.  I can in fact laugh at stuff that needs to be laughed at.  And I do it quite well.  I’m taking the points here for myself.
6.  I win here.  In the  original article it says you’ve seen Little Miss Sunshine like 36 times, own it on DVD…etc.  This movie sucks huge donkey balls.  I wouldn’t watch this movie if it promised free cookies served by triple jointed Swedish trollops.
7.   #7 on the list is about an unkempt beard and man purse.  Working on the beard and I do carry a backpack sometimes.  Partial credit to me.
8.   Totally a win for me.  I don’t smoke.  Ever.  So I’m not a hepster here.
9.   Win! I haven’t broken up with anyone over MGMT.  I can tolerate them but don’t really care if my wife likes them or not. I think she does, but really…who gives a rats ass.
10.   Win for me.  Article says that you don’t like anything unless Pitchfork, NPR or somebody else raves about it first.  While I do dig NPR…can’t say I read Pitchfork that much.  So…

After much consideration, it appears that I’m totally not the hipster that I thought I was.  I think I’m a little disappointed.