Baseball? Was there a baseball game? Sorry, I was watching the big screen

Posted By kage / 21st July 2010

Went to the Royals game last night.

I’ve decided that the redo of Kaufmann stadium is asstastic. It sucks. It’s become baseball for the ADD crowd.

Every break in the action during the game was filled with some stupid video of some stupid, inane thing meant to entertain.  Entertain a nine year old kid who eats a pound of raw sugar a day apparently.  Or maybe entertain a crack addict.  Not sure.

The “Kiss Cam”, some idiot “interviewing” people between innings, another idiot once again roaming the stands enticing people to play some stupid game or another like a Price Is Right kind of mountain climber guess the price game.  A Slugger this, a slugger that…

There was, unbenownst to us, a t-shirt giveaway last night.  High quality tee’s featuring the hotdog race.  People were very, very anxious to get these shirts.  Really people?  Really?  Scrambling to get a t-shirt of the hot dog race video?  What, is everyone suddenly mustard dog fans to the point of fighting over a stupid 97 cent shirt of the goddamned thing?  Really?

Fireworks for when a player farts, signs advertising on every spare inch of space in the stadium.  Everywhere signs.  Everything from Big Daddy Weiners, to Stop ‘Em Up Tampons to Ol’ Rotgut Irish Whiskey.

It’s kind of like those flashing light displays that epileptics aren’t supposed to watch.  I was afraid I was going to have a seizure at any moment.  I didn’t but I did get kind of slobbery.