Ha.
There was a time, back many years ago, when I’d get all drunked up, sit out in my garage, and chain smoke clove cigarettes, guzzle beer, get all liquored up and start calling people.  I’d generally start with my friends Beth and Marie, slobber at them for a while about whatever kind of crazy gibberish [...]

Me neither, but I’d bet it’s funny.  Have a great 4th.  Be safe, have fun.