Dean Martin, Bob Hope, George Goebbel, Judy Carne…the very epitome of old school cool. Dig ‘em drinkin and smokin and being funny. Nary a cuss word was uttered on that night (at least that we know about)
Recent piece in the local rag written by a sportswriter who is leaving our fair city for the more temperate climes of Charlotte got me to thinking…what makes a home?
Not a home like a house. Or an apartment. Hell everyone has to have one or the other. Unless you’re a tent dweller, in which case, good luck to you. Really. Good luck.
But what makes a home as in a city?
Is it the people? Perhaps. While Kansas City has decent, nice people, I wonder if the people here are any nicer than in any other mid sized city. Are they more helpful? More apt to go out of their way to assist you in finding something or getting somewhere? Perhaps. I’d assume that the people in Kansas City are at least as nice as those in any other city, will help you find your lost puppy or your lost way or whatever it is that you need to find or get to.
Is it a willingness to help those less fortunate? Once again, I guess that Kansas City is equally as willing to help as any other town.
But does this make it home? Does it make it A home?
Yes it makes it A home. It happens to be where I live. Where my kids have grown up. So in that sense, it’s home. Whenever we travel and people ask where home is, it’s easy to say Kansas City. ”Oh” they inevitably reply, “Kansas is so..um..nice.” I no longer fight to say I live in Missouri because really, what’s the point? There isn’t one so I just nod my head. ”Yes. It’s quite lovely.”
People ask where I’m from and I still say Houston though honestly I’ve lived in Kansas City longer than I ever lived in Houston. When I go back to Houston it’s different. It’s foreign to me. Not really in a bad way, but in the way that any new city is foreign to a traveler. Because really, I don’t go home. I’m travelling.
It’s been said that home is where the heart is. In that case, I guess Blue Springs, Missouri is my home. Not a willing home, but a home nonetheless. My heart is here. My kids, my wife. All here.
Home
Cant’ get enough of this maudlin, sad song. I love me some sad songs.
Ever notice how a certain smell can bring back a memory that for some reason or another you had filed away in the back recesses of your mind? Isn’t it interesting the things that trigger these memories.
Case in point, whilst browsing a cook book while taking care of some serious bathroom business, the smell of the cookbook I was reading brought back a powerful memory of a summer job that I had years ago. Mind this wasn’t a summer job during college or high school, but a summer job that I had “in between real jobs” if you know what I mean.
Basically the job involved putting together shelving and display units and desks. We generally worked for the Burlington Northern Railroad at JUCO but on occasion went out into the real world for a job. One such job was building book racks at the library at UMKC.
I had not yet gone to or certainly graduated from UMKC, but I loved this particular job. And this was a job I generally HATED. I hated the people I worked with, hated the guy I worked for, hated pretty much everything about it, but it payed the bills so there was that.
The job that I speak of was building display units in a section of the library. I don’t think that it was a widely used section, perhaps it was semi-private? I don’t really recall. I do however, recall that it smelled wonderful. It smelled of books, it smelled of knowledge, it smelled of a completely different world. A world that I so very badly wanted to be a part of.
The smell reminded me of how much I wanted to be a part of this special world. A world in which being smart was a good thing. Where a library wasn’t just a place to go and surf facebook, as is the case with our local library. But a place of learned people and learners and ideas and thinkers and thoughts and hope and everything that was good.
I miss that smell.
Tired of paying those pesky taxes to fund things like schools and oh…county services? Tired of having to fork over your hard earned cash when you don’t even have kids that go to school anymore! Well, friends, I’m sure you’re aware of the Tea Party. But did you know that the Tea Party is now trying to take over school boards?
That’s right friends. Now you won’t have to worry about those damned irritating kids getting a good, decent breakfast as funds are being cut to feed the kids early in the morning. And busing those damn kids back and forth and back and forth every day to half day kindergarten. That’s over baby. Done. Finished.
Thankfully the Tea Partiers have come to the rescue of the good, hard working Christian men and women of America and possibly even your district. Tired of paying to namby pamby these kids and provide things like supplies and lunches. ”Parents should feed them at home. No one pays for my children to eat,” said group founder Lee Ann Burkholder, who home-schools her children.
That’s right America. Home school your children. They’ll receive fine Christian education, none of that “scientific theory” that we all know is false anyway.
Tea Partiers of the world unite! We can run this country right on into the ground and stomp on it with our good old made in America boots!
Great song, great video. From a 1970 Swedish film called “Thriller – A Cruel Picture”. Enjoy.
”You can safely assume you have created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates the same people you do.”
annie lamont
So apparently, Jesus is coming back. Soon. Like next month.
Dangit and I don’t have a thing to wear. Oh well, I’ll dash off to “Robes R Us” and pick up a little something to wear. Something a little saucy, but with a hint of reverence.
To all those who plan on ascending into the sky and floating around whilst we left behinds all stare blindly at the sky, you know we’re TOTALLY not looking up the dresses of those lovely, but reverent ladies, you have a few problems. I’m here to help.
First of all, what to do with your pets? I’m not sure of any place in the bible that mentions that you can bring your pets with you. Right? For a small fee, payable upfront of course, I’ll take care of your pets. I’ll feed and water them, maybe take them for a stroll every now and again. I’ll let them out to do their business at least once a day. Promise. Go ahead and send your check now just to make sure.
Then there’s the question of your bank accounts. You’re really not going to need all that money you have saved up. So…go ahead, today if possible, go ahead and send me your access info, account numbers, passwords, etc. I’ll take care of your money for you and put it to good use. Don’t worry about a thing, just go on and float right on up to the sky, safe and secure in knowing that all of your worldly possessions that you worked so hard for are being appreciated.
When emailing me the bank info, please make sure you include any info on money that you may have hidden in your house, under your bed, in the garage, etc. Also, please indicate the year/make/model of your car and location of your car keys. Save me the time of searching around your house to find the dang things, cause really, who wants to waste a ton of time searching around for car keys? Really.
So yeah, there’s the plan. If you’re planning on visiting Jesus in the sky, go ahead and send all your info to me so that I can prepare a calendar to take care of your pets for a while and I need to plan on how to manage your money.
Thanks and good floating!
Your pal
KJ
Spring break. My daughter decided she wanted to go and visit her grandparents in Chicago. Seeing as how we have no money, it was incumbent upon us to do the Chicago trip as cheaply as possible. Short of having someone else pay for it, we had to decide how to do same. Gas prices not withstanding, it was apparent that it would be cheaper to drive than to fly her up there. Just barely but cheaper none the less.
I don’t know about you or where you have driven but the drive from Kansas City to Chicago is a boring ass drive. Boring.
Once outside of Kansas City the land itself is ugly. It’s as if god decided that sure there would be some land, but that it would be ugly assed scrub brush populated by ugly people who drive ugly cars. Seriously, someone hit the entire northern Missouri area with an ugly stick and didn’t let up until everything was made puke inducing.
As you get into Iowa, the landscape gets a little better. More hilly, lakes, etc. Iowa also has the best rest areas in the world. I’m a fan of rest areas. Or at least clean, well kept rest areas. I tend to shy away from the ratty, run down looking places. Like most of those in Missouri. They’re the kind of rest areas where you just know shady deals are going down and to go to the bathroom is to invite a fat old man dressed as Little Orphan Annie and running around the restroom with his junk out, asking if you’d like to see his little orphanette grow into a big orphanette. I’ll pass.
We had some good conversation, my daughter and I. Nothing serious, nothing to earth shattering. Just mindless gibber. Nice for a change. Seems like we’re always talking about something serious, like her inability to do any school work or to participate in anything but swimming.
Of course we obeyed the speed limit. It is 90 mph, right? If so then we totally obeyed it.
The trip back was brutal. We were both so ready to get home that neither showered. We gassed up, drove through to get something fast and got back on the road. I stank. I’d just wanted to get the hell out of dodge. Or Chicago. Whatever.