Top Ten Reasons Not To Delete Your Facebook Account

Posted By kage ~ 4th May 2010

Recent article on Gizmodo featuring top 10 reasons to delete your Facebook account. I beg to differ and offer 10 reasons not to delete your Facebook account.

1.  You can have fun antogizing your Republican/Democrat friends.  Disagree with everything they say just to cause trouble.  It’s fun.
2.  Think of all the free time you would have.  What in the world would you do then?3.  You’ll ruin your chances for that hook up with a long lost high school chum.  Of course when you do meet you’ll realize that you’re both old, fat and not as pretty as you were in high school but after a few more Bud Lights you’ll have a clumsy grope in the back of the bar while Bon Jovi plays on the stereo.  You’ll both later realize it was stupid.
4.   You’ll miss out on playing Farm Wars or Mafiaville or whatever game is the current rage.  You’ll be upset because you had 9 gajillion points and were ready to move up a level.
5.  All those prayer requests and flag waving applications won’t be as good without your participation and the lack thereof may very well lead to some sort of supernatural badness involving flying serpents, backwards talking babies and Pee Wee Herman in a black leather corset.
6.  The Big Prize Giveaways that you pointlessly enter 93 times a day will cease to exist without your participation.  It will change to Mediocre prize giveaways where they’ll pawn off used tennis shoes, half eaten bags of Doritios and pictures of Charo.
7.   Your mom won’t know what kind of trouble you’ve gotten into and will probably call your aunt to come over and check on you.  You will at that very instance just happen to be trying on a magical fairy costume that you’ve had hidden in your closet.
8.    You’ll miss out on joining such fun groups as “I Love Salad” and “The Love Boat – Best Show Ever or Magical Journey Into Neverland”.
9.   You’ll just end up joining some other social network like Assbook or Ding made up entirely of losers too stupid to work the complicated Facebook.
10.  Your brain activity may actually increase causing an instant flood of awareness and you’ll be so overwhelmed you’ll piss yourself and fall to the ground flopping around like a fish.  You’ll probably never speak again and take to wearing rainbow coloured wigs and holding up signs at city council meetings that have very little to do with the meeting or even anything known to modern man.