Local Family Bailout

Posted By KJ ~ 23rd September 2008

With talk of bailing out the financial industry to the tune of $700 million dollars using taxpayer money, I’d like to put my request in for about $56,000.

You see I have some student loans that I have to repay.  It’s important that we (my family) stay in business so that we don’t cause local panic and a run on the refrigerator and beer cooler.  We have to protect the integrity of the pocketbook.

The only real way to protect this integrity is for the government to either forgive or buy and repay the loans themeselves.  When asked, a member of my family who was assured anonymity, responded with “hell yes or maybe you could just get a better job”.

According to local family sources, the outlook for the student loan buyout is “not so great” at this time.